Run
by Girl on the Wing
Summary: [One-shot] A song fic to Snow Patrol’s “Run”. Lorelai is leaving Stars Hollow; she and Luke say goodbye.


**Title:** Run

**Author:** Tengwe

**Rating:** PG

**Summary:** A song fic to Snow Patrol's "Run". Lorelai is leaving Stars Hollow; she and Luke say goodbye.

**Disclaimer:** Gilmore Girls and all related trademarks are copyright Amy Sherman-Palladino. Lyrics to "Run" are copyright Snow Patrol. Plot is mine, kids. Don't steal. Don't sue. I'm poor.

**A/N:** I needed a break from writing the L/L epic that is "Sing One You Know" (/shameless), so I took one of my favorite songs and wrote this. It's a bit more style-based and I tried to branch out a bit. Enjoy :)

**Run **

_I'll sing it one last time for you_

_Then we really have to go_

_You've been the only thing that's right_

_In all I've done._

The old Jeep sat in the driveway, packed with everything she owned.

Everything, it seemed, except him.

_And I can barely look at you_

She was a silhouette in the dawn on the front porch, the porch he'd fixed a thousand times over. He'd built himself into that porch, and she stood with that self now, her arms holding herself tightly. He stood in the doorway. He'd fixed the door before, too.

_But every single time I do_

The sun framed her, a gold and black painting with careful brush strokes, painstaking details. If he was the type to take photographs, he would've, to capture this woman outlined by the rising morning. But photographs meant memories. They meant it had happened, and was over now.

They meant it was over now.

_I know we'll make it anywhere_

_Away from here_

He had often wondered what would happen if this day ever came. If he woke up one morning, and found he was alone in his bed, shivering beneath the blankets, missing half of the same self he'd put into the front porch, what would he do?

Sometimes he wondered things like this, but he would never tell her. He could never tell her how scared he was that one day he'd wake up, and she'd be gone.

She would be gone soon.

_Light up, Light up_

_As if you have a choice _

_Even if you cannot hear my voice_

_I'll be right beside you dear_

Without thinking, he moved toward her, and he knew she felt him behind her before he slipped his arms around her waist and rested his chin on her shoulder. She covered his arms with hers, and he was surprised to find how steady she was, how determined her shoulders sat, how straight she stood.

He knew he shouldn't be surprised. Lorelai was strong; always had been. Today, she needed all of her strength. Maybe she could pass some over to him, because he was sure he was going to need it.

_Even if you cannot hear my voice_

_I'll be right beside you dear_

They had talked about this more times than Luke thought possible for two people to discuss one thing. There would be trips to see the other, of course, they would keep in contact, she'd call as soon as she got to Hartford, he'd call her at least once a night and leave his infamous rambling messages on her phone for her to listen to before she went to bed.

Somehow, all the messages in the world couldn't make up for his empty bed.

_Louder, louder_

_And we'll run for our lives_

_I can hardly speak I understand_

_Why you can't raise your voice to say_

She turned in his arms, sliding her hands up his chest and meeting his eyes for the first time all morning. He was startled at the look behind them: a fierceness she'd possessed her whole life, a burning emblem of the courage only she had known when she'd built this life from the ground up for herself, but also something he didn't quite recognize for a moment, until he realized how familiar it might've been with anyone else, but not with Lorelai: a distinct sadness. Something he couldn't fix.

Something all the sturdy porches and quiet doors wouldn't make up for.

_I can hardly speak I understand_

He was just as determined as she not to cry; the sun swelled above them as they stood together, holding each other on the front porch, and Luke shut his eyes tightly, tilting his head away from her. He felt her arms wrap around his neck, her fingertips brush the back of his neck, finger the collar of his T-shirt, and he couldn't look. He couldn't do this.

_Louder, louder_

_And we'll run for our lives_

Suddenly, Luke had half a mind to leap out of her arms and start running. He would run as long and hard as he could; he had been an athlete once, he could get a pretty good distance, perhaps even out of Stars Hollow before he got tired.

His feet would pound the pavement, the sun would wait for him at the edge of the world he ran to. Eventually the sun couldn't wait for him anymore, though, and it would rise far above him, untouchable, and he wouldn't care. He would be torn apart by the wind, the road would kill him eventually, and he wouldn't care. He would run Lorelai away.

_Louder, LOUDER_

He didn't move.

_To think I might not see those eyes_

_It makes it so hard not to cry_

_And as we say our long goodbyes_

_I nearly do._

Blue crystals, they always had the most amazing effects on him. When she looked at him, when that light she was born with flashed behind those windows he could swore he saw himself reflected in, he would've jumped off a mountain if she'd asked him. Normally, however, she just laughed and kissed him, asking him what he was staring at.

It was really unfair, the advantage she had just because of her eyes.

_To think I might not see those eyes_

_It makes it so hard not to cry_

He noticed they shined brighter than usual this morning, and after a moment, he realized it was because she was fighting to hold back the tears welled up behind her eyelashes, and he knew she was fighting a losing battle, but she would fight to the end, no matter what. He knew as soon as first the tear slid down her cheek, leaving behind a line of its trail. He reached up and brushed it away, and as soon as he did he realized he was fighting the same battle. The same battle they both would lose, but they'd go down fighting.

_And as we say our long goodbyes_

_I nearly do._

His touch broke down the walls; there was no use fighting, not anymore. She leaned into his chest and buried her face into his neck, tears streaming freely down her face. He wrapped his arms around her so tight he was afraid he would break her, but he couldn't seem to loosen his grip. He kissed her hair and smoothed it, he rubbed the small of her back, where his hand fit perfectly. He shut his eyes again, pressing them shut until it hurt. He felt her lips brushing his neck, kissing him gently around his collarbone, around his jaw line. His hands roamed her back, trying to touch every inch of her at once, as though he hadn't touched her a thousand times before.

This was waiting, he knew. It was postponing, and he didn't believe in postponing. Just get it over with.

It would be over soon.

_Slower, slower_

_We don't have time for that_

_All I want is to find an easier way_

_To get out of our little heads_

It was stillness, it was feeling, it was shattered. Luke wanted to break, so he wouldn't be allowed to touch her anymore, so he would never know what touching her felt like.

He would never know. He would never have to run.

_All I want is to find an easier way_

_To get out of our little heads_

He could never live like that.

_Have heart my dear_

_We're bound to be afraid_

Her heartbeat was quick and small against his chest; he found her hand on his shoulder and took it in his own, intertwining his fingers with hers. He held up their hands clasped together and she pulled them to her, kissing his fingers one by one. He watched her, the way the sunlight, quickly becoming daylight, glowed around her dark, wavy locks falling into her face.

_Even if it's just for a few days_

_Making up for all this mess._

She leaned her forehead against his chest, and his free hand rested on the back of her head, holding her there in the morning. He wanted to whisper something important, something she would remember, so he could leave some lasting words upon her, resting on her. But somehow, nothing came to mind that would be more important than being together right now, holding Lorelai, holding her hand.

_Have heart my dear..._

He wanted to apologize for making her sad, he wanted to tell her he loved her, he wanted to beg her to stay right here on the front porch with him. He wanted to tell her these things like she had never heard them before.

She had heard them so many times before, and somehow, they were more important every time she heard them.

_Light up, light up_

_As if you have a choice_

_Even if you cannot hear my voice_

_I'll be right beside you dear._

He felt something against his palm; it was sudden emptiness. Her hand dropped his and she pulled away from his chest, looking at him fearfully, yet more determined than ever, her mouth open slightly as though she wanted to ask him something, but it caught in her throat. He felt his throat tighten as she took a step back, a step away. A step away from him. It was then that she truly left, though she would not physically drive away for another few minutes.

_Light up, light up_

_As if you have a choice_

She turned, and the fact that Luke couldn't see her face anymore made him instantly nervous. He bunched his hands into fists and followed her quietly, willing every muscle to move slowly behind her. She climbed into the Jeep, closing the driver's door too softly, so that she had to open and close it again. She settled back against the seat as Luke leaned on the edge of the window, his arms folded. He watched put her seatbelt on, take too long putting her seatbelt on, when she finally turned back to him and met his eyes again.

_Even if you cannot hear my voice_

_I'll be right beside you dear._

She was closer to him now, her face was inches away, and her eyes were huge and bright up close. He unfolded his arms and cupped her face in both hands, stroking her cheek with his thumb, trying desperately to memorize every detail. Her soft eyelashes framing her round eyes the color of robin's eggs, her smooth skin, the slant of her cheeks to her jaw, her soft lips resting a perpetual in a mischievous smile. He was afraid he'd forget, even though he knew he never would, like one might be afraid of the dark, even though they know nothing is there that isn't there in the light.

_I can hardly speak I understand_

_Why you can't raise your voice to say_

She was so close now; he pulled her toward him and kissed her gently, fighting the urge to kiss her so hard they both would start crying. He was afraid if he kissed her hard he'd never let go.

And her lips were on his; by now, they both knew exactly what to do, they breathed each other in, their lips explored each other's, begging to close the gap as far as they could, knowing this was forever. Lorelai's mouth swept over his, and he struggled to breathe, half-hoping she would suffocate him, kill him right there so he could die and never know what he was losing.

_Slower, slower_

_We don't have time for that_

And suddenly, the emptiness had returned, only this time it brushed across his lips. He opened his eyes to see Lorelai watching him, an unreadable look on her face, a small smile telling him thousands of things, none of which he can begin to digest right now.

Somehow, he takes that step back from the Jeep so she has room to back out. And in that step, he truly leaves her.

* * *

I was pretty much in a manic depressive state the entire time I was writing this, hehe. Hope you liked and please leave me a review, it's the only way an author knows her work is being read! :)


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